The Profound Leadership Truths My Neurodivergent Son Taught Me
As an executive advisor and coach, I've had the privilege of advising many brilliant leaders on strategies for scaling their companies and amplifying their impact. Yet some of the most profound leadership wisdom I've encountered didn't come from the halls of academia or even executive suites. It came from an unexpected source much closer to home - my extraordinary neurodivergent son, Brooks.
Brooks' journey has been a roller coaster ride that redefined everything I thought I knew about strength, perseverance, and what truly matters in life and leadership. It started when he was just 13 months old, with a terrifying series of seizures that sent us spinning into a dizzying realm of medical tests, specialist visits, sleepless nights, and unanswered questions.
Can you imagine the pit of worry in your stomach as your baby endures MRI after MRI, CT scan after CT scan, hooked up to wires for 24-hour EEG monitoring sessions? The tears you cry when you first hear the doctor utter the possibility of adrenoleukodystrophy - a brutal neurodegenerative disease? (note- after waiting impatiently for another scan three months later, we were assured he did NOT have it). These were some of my darkest days as a parent, grasping for any shred of hope that my sweet boy would be OK.
Amidst that worry, something powerful took root. With each hurdle Brooks faced - developmental delays, behavioral challenges, struggles with motor skills - his indomitable spirit and vibrant uniqueness revealed eternal lessons about leadership that served as my lifeboat.
Me and Brooks, my leadership teacher/son, at one of his many hospital stays.
1. Diversity is THE game-changer. You see, despite moments of uncertainty, Brooks showed me that real growth only emerges by embracing what makes us different. Like how he could transform a simple piece of paper into a rainbow blizzard of "confetti" to blanket the world in joy. His neurodivergent mind opened my eyes to the undeniable power of cultivating diversity of thought and experience - teams embracing divergent perspectives and strengths unleash innovation up to 33% greater than homogenous ones (Gallup, 2017). In business, we need people who see things differently, with different strengths and weaknesses, in order to create true change and growth. Diversity on boards and in top leadership positions, in whatever way those differences take shape, is absolutely critical for progress.
2. Ruthless prioritization is the only way. When therapies and interventions piled up, threatening to overwhelm Brooks' young mind, he taught me the critical leadership skill of ruthless prioritization. We quickly learned to tackle just two or three key goals at a time - perhaps refining his ability to hold a pencil while learning breathing exercises to self-soothe. Similarly, the most successful leaders relentlessly prioritize, ignoring the deafening noise of competing priorities to stay laser-focused on the critical path for achieving their vision.
3. Curate your team like your legacy depends on it… Because it does. As we curated Brooks' team of supportive specialists and therapists (parting ways with those who proposed punitive approaches or dismissiveness that there was nothing wrong), I realized this mirrors the vital task of leaders assembling a cohesive, values-aligned yet diverse team. The true collaborators who "got" my son's needs and showed up wholeheartedly, nurturing his strengths while acknowledging his struggles - they were the difference-makers, just like the key players leaders must carefully recruit and align to their mission, weeding out those who don’t.
4. Lasting change requires buy-in. I'll never forget the epic battles of wills to gain Brooks' buy-in for each new skill or behavior he needed to learn and integrate. Our strong-willed son continually reinforced that changes only stick when people feel truly invested in the journey – indeed, 70% of organizational change efforts fail at due to lack of employee engagement (Gallup, 2019). Without proper buy-in, you may just get a lot of yelling and crying, and people stomping out the door (okay, maybe not as much as a toddler, but I bet it could be close).
5. Celebrate the wins along the way. It’s easy to focus on what’s wrong or what needs to be improved. It’s human nature. But through Brooks, my husband and I have learned that you have to celebrate and notice the little wins along the way. Just as we celebrated Brooks' smallest wins with cheers and affirmations, leaders recognizing even incremental progress toward a goal reignites motivation for teams tackling ambitious challenges.
Through each of Brooks' trials and triumphs, his neurodivergent mindset revealed these timeless leadership truths about fostering diversity, prioritizing relentlessly, cultivating cohesive high-performing teams, gaining buy-in, and celebrating steps forward. While his brain may be wired differently, the profound wisdom he inspired transcends any single perspective.
The transformational leadership insights I learned from my extraordinary son have fundamentally changed how I approach my mission of helping CEOs and leaders expand their reach and influence for the better. You see, this year I founded my company because I wanted to work with leaders determined to create change in this world. I wanted to help those who felt a deep calling to leverage their talents and platforms on a larger scale - to achieve something far bigger than themselves.
My son Brooks opened my eyes to realms of human potential I never could have conceived. When you tap into the boundless wisdom of unexpected teachers, that's when the most profound growth and impact happens - for your business, your people, and the world you want to create.
